The Devil's Playground

They say idle hands are the devil's workshop. What they don't tell you is that idle minds are the Devil's Playground.I've got a nice playground set up for him, let me tell you, I've got one nice swingset and the best monkey bars you've ever seen, with the chipped up rubber tires instead of sand so that if The Dark Lord falls down he doesn't skin his knee and get a booboo. Following are some of the thoughts that He has put into my head and I'm just too lazy to do anything with. Some are simply amusing, some are ludicrous, some are thought provoking. Some are all of the above.

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Why are there only six hot dog buns in a package when hot dogs come in packages of eight?

I saw a sign a while back that said "speed limit enforced by aircraft." Once, just once, I want to see a car go speeding by only to explode shortly after when the F-15 blows it off the road. Maybe have a little ticket float down onto the wreckage. That's my kind of law enforcement!

Philosophers have debated for years about the true existence of man. One of the most profound statements being: "What if I'm just a butterfly, dreaming I'm a man." That line of thought is always intriguing, yes. Though wholly unanswerable and therefore entirely useless. That defines most of philosophy anyway though, so who cares? People spend too much time thinking. Here, this ought to keep the bastards occupied for a while. Where do the socks that mysteriously disappear when I'm doing laundry go?

How long can our little country last? With as much dissent as is shown already, it seems unlikely that we'll be a world power for long. Our economy is failing. We have the highest crime rates in the world, especially violent crimes. We're so scared of change that while the rest of the world advanced around us, we just stand and watch, laughing at them. Why do we laugh? Because we're stubborn, we think we're better than them, and won't let ourselves think otherwise. Well, keep laughing when we're receiving aid packages from other nations because nobody wants our inferior commodoties. Don't believe me? Something so simple as conforming to a measuring standard. We still use the english standard measuring system. Nobody but us uses it. Even the english have been smart enough to convert to metric. For the love of all that is good and holy, CHANGE DAMMIT!

My own version of the Chaos Theory. A butterfly flaps his wings in japan, and spontaneously combusts. Chaotic, isn't it?

What defines a 'sane' mind? Sanity is the ability to follow the norm. A precedent set by society and ever changing. But have you noticed that the line that defines sanity has been steadily retreating? It's no longer insanity, it's creative thinking and progress. Being unique is what makes you insane. Not "unique like everybody else," but truly unique. So different that you're in a class of your own. Many of the greatest minds in the history of the world were once considered insane. I sure as hell would think someone was insane if I saw them flying a kite with a key on it in a lightning storm.

What is so different about our country that makes our crime rate (particularly murder) so astronomically high? I really have no idea.

Communism. It's a great idea, provided people suddenly stop being self righteous greedy assholes. Until then, it'll never work. We've fought so much over communism. The cold war, korea, china, vietnam. Why? Because we're afraid of something different. How many people lost their lives over a battle between economic systems? People are so damned stupid. On the bright side, it got us into space a whole hell of a lot faster.

I think the werewolf legend spawned from women. Not women telling the legend, but from women themselves. They change once a month; going into a feral rage once a month, tear your throat out for no good reason once a month . . .

All these movies where there's time travel, or alternate dimensions or realities, or anything that allows the current state to change, and you see a different version of yourself. But it's always a different version of yourself in a similar situation. Same places, similar times. Imagine, someone goes back in time, kills columbus. Somehow, I still live in the US instead of a european country. Apparently history has a way of only letting the easy to fathom changes happen.

What is wrong with some people? I'll use "Goths" as an example. At one point, being a goth meant that you were a sad tortured little soul. A loner. Someone nobody would hang out with. You wore dark clothes and makeup as a reflection of your inner thoughts and feelings. Now it's a style. People follow crowds, even if they're the wrong crowds. Doing drugs, liking a specific band or artist, all because it's considered cool. But there's the opposite side of the spectrum that's just as bad. People that don't like a band or an artist or a video game, without even experiencing it in the first place, simply because it's popular. That's a good way to miss out on something good. Why can't people bloody think for themselves instead of trying so desperately to conform or be different that they end up being mirror images and stereotypes? My point is: be yourself. Get your OWN ideas of how things are and how they should be and stick with it.

Everything our senses take in is just our brain interpreting input from the outside world. Interpreting being the operative word. Evidence would be someone who's completely colorblind. Everything in a black and white world, they have no way of telling what we see as orange looks like to us. So it's fairly easy to imagine, especially with the tiny portio of the EM spectrum that we see, that we're seeing, smelling, and feeling not only a tiny portion of what we experience, but we're doing it WRONG. as far as we know, green really looks a sort of purplish-orange with a hint of bittersweet. The problem is that there's no way of knowing what it really is, because all we have to go from is what our brain tells us. With this knowledge, I assert that I am in fact a five hundred pound green gorilla that just looks and feels like a skinny, pale caucasian guy.

The only reason I have friends is because they're afraid to be my enemies.